Late night talking

Soundtrack: Sigur Rós - Samskeyti

A month ago I found myself in a very beneficial situation. I was in my living room with two amazing girls, Lies from the Netherlands and Kajsa from Sweden, both trainers in this years edition of Leadership Summer School (LSS). It was one of those nights where you feel like time stands still, and the world revolves around you and that room only. I'm not sure where the talk started, and there is unfortunately no way I can recall all the details, but I feel like I went to bed a lot wiser.

Kajsa, me, and Lies

We talked about us. Our families, our experiences, and our personal development, especially in the light of LSS. We talked about others. The people we worked with in LSS, the trainers, participants, and the organisers. We gossiped, sharing our perspectives and impressions about personalities and situations - mirroring ourselves and reflecting about out experiences.

We talked about opening one door, and finding ten new doors to choose from behind the first one. We discussed how some people are blindfolded, and never see the first door. That others are too narrow minded to see all the next ten. And that some people are too scared to open any of them. 

We talked about the universe, and what is beyond. And how did we end up out there, you may ask? Well, it was about the doors I think, relating it to the movie "Sliding Doors" where the story develops in two different directions determined by if the main character catches a train or not. The same idea with our doors - is there an infinite number of parallel universes, all differing a bit because of the choices we make?

We talked about relationships. What it is we need, and what we definitely don't need! Whether the craving for personal development ever stops; if you can find a man who is so balanced, that he doesn't need to read any more books? We concluded that someone who feels no need for self development would have a cocky approach to life, and would indeed most likely not be considered potential. Such a man would belong in the group of people who do not see the doors mentioned above.

We talked about some very personal things. I was unintentionally coached into realising some things I need to do - and afterwards, we realised it had been just like a coaching session, and unintentionally started debriefing it. Then we realised that we were debriefing, and started laughing, shaking our heads to the fact that we are so unable to separate our trainer-way-of-thinking from non-training-related matters. And from there, I believe we got into talking about how much we have indeed learned about ourselves, others, and the world through trainings.

We talked about the power we as trainers can have on the people around us. About the responsibility that comes with an ability like that, and how it can be abused to manipulate people. About how important it is to show people a door, but not drag them through it.

So what did I learn that night, between midnight and 5 AM?

Well, I got some specific suggestions I want to work on, and I was reminded that the world can be seen from many perspectives. That it matters to ask others for their opinions, and that their stories can also make a difference in my life. I learned how big an impact I can have on other people.

And, I was reminded just how important it is to have friends. Really good friends.

We recapped the night talk over a 4 hour brunch the next day. :)