Sunday, September 04, 2011

Late night talking

Soundtrack: Sigur Rós - Samskeyti

A month ago I found myself in a very beneficial situation. I was in my living room with two amazing girls, Lies from the Netherlands and Kajsa from Sweden, both trainers in this years edition of Leadership Summer School (LSS). It was one of those nights where you feel like time stands still, and the world revolves around you and that room only. I'm not sure where the talk started, and there is unfortunately no way I can recall all the details, but I feel like I went to bed a lot wiser.

Kajsa, me, and Lies

We talked about us. Our families, our experiences, and our personal development, especially in the light of LSS. We talked about others. The people we worked with in LSS, the trainers, participants, and the organisers. We gossiped, sharing our perspectives and impressions about personalities and situations - mirroring ourselves and reflecting about out experiences.


We talked about opening one door, and finding ten new doors to choose from behind the first one. We discussed how some people are blindfolded, and never see the first door. That others are too narrow minded to see all the next ten. And that some people are too scared to open any of them. 

We talked about the universe, and what is beyond. And how did we end up out there, you may ask? Well, it was about the doors I think, relating it to the movie "Sliding Doors" where the story develops in two different directions determined by if the main character catches a train or not. The same idea with our doors - is there an infinite number of parallel universes, all differing a bit because of the choices we make?

We talked about relationships. What it is we need, and what we definitely don't need! Whether the craving for personal development ever stops; if you can find a man who is so balanced, that he doesn't need to read any more books? We concluded that someone who feels no need for self development would have a cocky approach to life, and would indeed most likely not be considered potential. Such a man would belong in the group of people who do not see the doors mentioned above.

We talked about some very personal things. I was unintentionally coached into realising some things I need to do - and afterwards, we realised it had been just like a coaching session, and unintentionally started debriefing it. Then we realised that we were debriefing, and started laughing, shaking our heads to the fact that we are so unable to separate our trainer-way-of-thinking from non-training-related matters. And from there, I believe we got into talking about how much we have indeed learned about ourselves, others, and the world through trainings.

We talked about the power we as trainers can have on the people around us. About the responsibility that comes with an ability like that, and how it can be abused to manipulate people. About how important it is to show people a door, but not drag them through it.

So what did I learn that night, between midnight and 5 AM?

Well, I got some specific suggestions I want to work on, and I was reminded that the world can be seen from many perspectives. That it matters to ask others for their opinions, and that their stories can also make a difference in my life. I learned how big an impact I can have on other people.

And, I was reminded just how important it is to have friends. Really good friends.

We recapped the night talk over a 4 hour brunch the next day. :) 

Friday, September 02, 2011

Do something every day that scares you

Soundtrack: Everybody's free to wear sunscreen (watch it first, then put it on again while reading... :))


Written August 17th
I went swimming today, and in the showers they have this huge bucket mounted so it can be tipped and spill like 25 L of water over whoever is brave enough to pull the rope. It reminded me of the Bazz Luhrman speech/song "Everybody is free to wear sunscreen" - an excellent speech to a graduating class full of advice for life. One of them is "Do something every day that scares you" (at 1.30 mins in the video).

And I started wondering... What scares me?

That bucket of water scares me. And now that I am sitting here, working on my thesis, needing some action, I almost regret that I didn't pull the robe. Well, next time I will. I promise...!


September 1st
So, now I have been to the pool twice after I wrote that I would pul that robe, and....... (drum roll)... I have become a very big fan of the cold water bucket! Really so refreshing - not just because of the cold water, but also having to face yourself, saying "DO IT!", realising it will be a shock. And then afterwards, feeling proud and vikingly, it can only be a good day. :)

I have continued thinking about what scares me. I posted the question "What scares you" on my Facebook profile, expecting that people would post some suggestions that I could learn from... Instead, they pointed out that the things that scares them (such as jumping out of the window from the 9th floor), is not the kind of thing you would like to do. Especially not one thing every day, though one would be unlikely to survive even day 1.

That made me think more about the meaning of the phrase, or maybe more about the purpose. For me, the point is that facing my fears helps me grow, because I move my boundaries each time. Of course the literal statement needs to be taken with a grain of salt, but still I find it to be a very useful challenge!

I went on to google it. "What scares you" - it led to other blogs, where the same question has been discussed, with some thought evoking results. There are different levels of scary things I suppose: Obviously there are the things that might kill you, leading to a very healthy fear indeed... There are bad things that might happen that you cannot prevent (death, disease, and other unfortunate events). Also, there are things such as letting people down, not living your dreams, etc., which are also not the kind of fears you wanna put to the test every day, just because it scares you.

No, the kind of scary things I am after are the challenges. I will keep my eyes open and inform in a later post what I figure out. As always, suggestions are very welcome! :)