I fell in love - right then and there, with one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. It was in Sicily, on a sunny day in late April, and I remember the feeling when I had to leave, alone, and slightly heartbroken. And very surprised, when I came to think of the whole situation.
My new love was a bag from Desigual, and to be honest, I didn't actually leave the store empty handed, and in particular not alone. With me I had a dress and a skirt from the same shop, a bag full of new make-up from across the street, and other purchases of the day. Furthermore, I was with some of my very best friends in the whole wide world - my European family, whom are usually the target of my primary expenditures, with significant amounts spent on traveling. As I feel like it should be.
And that is just the thing... I tend to not be very materialistic, I can hardly imagine ever spending more than 100€ on anything for my wardrobe, and things in general tend to mean little to me. I have few things, which I would suffer from losing, and that rather of practical reasons than of love to the thing itself.
But with the love for this bag, I suddenly noticed a change in my behavior over the recent years. Shoes, gadgets, and stuff in general means a lot more to me than ever before. Its even so that I feel like my life priorities are shifting from choosing experiences and adventures towards getting more stuff! SCARY!
In fact, my current desire to buy a new bike is split between two purposes: 1) The love for biking, soaring through the landscape, getting from A to B in a quick, environmentally and health-friendly way, and 2) THE LOVE FOR THE BIKE ITSELF, which is something I have only experienced rarely in my past.
Does this mean that I am becoming more materialistic? I guess it is the quintessential meaning of the word. And I don't like it.
Note that I don't mean materialistic in a political sense; rather, its a question about priorities and focus. I'm starting to think: Would I rather go to *some* event or buy this or that? For the money I am planning to spend on my next trip, should I instead buy *something*? Of course it is reasonable to consider the financial options before spending a lot of money, but I'd rather think back on a life full of experiences than on a life full of things!
Thinking about this for some weeks now, I have come to the realisation that the fear of stuff comes from a desire to remain free and flexible. This will sound overly philosophical, but anyway: While I can bring my memories everywhere, I feel like the things I own are somehow tying me down. They limit my flexibility, my mobility.
I guess its a zen-thing, being free from "earthly belongings". And an immaturity thing - conclusion becoming that I am scared of settling down and being tied to one place with all my stuff. Hmm... Once again I'm in a situation where my values and priorities are put to the test. Incredible, what a bag can do to you, huh?
Slippery slope? Who knows. I don't wanna be materialistic, but this bag makes me happy... And I've gotta have it!!
("My precioussssss..."!!)
