When people ask me how I’m doing, a standard answer is (translated from the Danish “stille og roligt”) something along the lines of “nice and easy” or “slowly and quietly”. The people who know me well tend to know that this is however never actually the case… I’m always busy with a thousand things, and while I enjoy that, I must admit that I am also always expecting and looking forward to things slowing down a bit the next month or after a certain event. Of course, they never do.
I have a feeling that many people are in a
similar situation as me, pushing themselves to an unreasonable stress level
with the expectation of things slowing down around the next corner. And THEN
they can be happy – they think. I
think many people will realise that things do in fact NOT slow down, thus
continuing the high pace till they burn out. Reaching the happiness goal they
strived for? I think not.
Say they DID reach their goal, with things
slowing down/a high income/the right job/(insert-personal-goal). Does this
ensure happiness? Again, I think not.
I’m not saying reaching life goals does not
make you happy. Obviously, without reaching any of our goals, life would be
unsatisfying, unfair, and depressing. What I’m saying is that we need to enjoy
the process as well – because “being on the way” is the only constant in our
lives.
Now it’s becoming a bit abstract I guess,
and hard for me to explain, but let me break it down. We will always be in a
process-state. It is the only thing you can count on: everything changing. Your
goals included! Regardless of whether you reach your goals or not, as time
passes and things evolve, your idea of your destination changes as well, so you
will always somehow be on the way towards the goal. The final destination in
this regard is unreachable (till death, but considering the happiness aspect,
that’s irrelevant in this regard (depending on one’s religious beliefs of
course, but that’s again beyond my scope here!)).
The idea of a moving target brings me to my
point – or one of them at least. :) If you forget to enjoy the process, your
happiness experience will be limited to the moments of reaching whatever goal
you were striving for. Limited because of the fact that new goals will follow,
continuously rendering you unsatisfied with your current state. Even
millionaires want to make more money, right?
Nothing wrong with striving for your dreams
(in fact I think its crucial to dream), but without appreciating the beauty of
the imperfect process for a seemingly perfect goal, your life might become a series
of races towards an ever-moving finish line. We’re back at the “happiness is a
perfect-moment-snapshot-concept”, acknowledging that perfection is imperfect.
So maybe make it a goal itself to enjoy the
way to our other goals – treasure the process! :)
